Tag Archives: Humor

Four Times Eight Must Die


Flash back to my very first post!

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Not-Dot

Having recently become aware of my gift of ordinal linguistic personification, I feel compelled to inform you all about a horrific heresy embedded within our own multiplication table.  Although most of you apparently cannot see it, all of the single digits carry on their lives in a sensible relationship with one another.  Whether adding subtracting dividing or multiplying they all behave according to their personalities and interact with predictable results.  EXCEPT in the case of 4 times 8.

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If Jesus Had a Blog – by Brant Hanson


If Jesus Had a Blog: I Told Nick that God Loves the World.

“…

Comments:

This doesn’t have to do with what Trent or Cynthia were writing about, but I’m just sayin:  I heard about the wedding you were at, and they served alcohol at it.  Did you know that?

– Concerned4U

…”


Steampunk, best described by what its NOT


I know I’ve posted a lot today, but there is so much awesomeness on the internets today that I can’t help it.  Besides, I’m frustrated with work.

Check out this amazing list of things that ARE NOT Steampunk.  If you don’t know what steampunk is, start here before you start googling.  I’d hate for you to mistake the epic-ness of the genuine article for some crap with a gear glued on it.  Thank you Xeraposa for posting this first and for helping to stop the madness.


Buy me anything from ThinkGeek.com


I’ve got a lot of geeky followers and just wanted to make sure everyone knew of this amazing online store. No, I’m not being paid to say this. Every time I visit ThinkGeek I find myself saying “That is awesome!”. From the ‘all-edges brownie pan’ to working laser projected keyboards ThinkGeek has everything for the Nerd in your life. Here’s a sampling of the awesome: Continue reading


Insecure Scientists Study Facial Hair


 

 

Male scientists aren’t known for being the most ‘manly’ of men and it is my suspicion that it was not strictly an interest in human sexual selection that motivated this study

The idea was simple, get a bunch of guys and take pictures of them as their facial hair progressed from ‘Baby Face’ to ‘Grizzly Adams’.  Then have a bunch of people rate each image on attractiveness and other perceptions.  Careful analysis of the results should tell the average guy the how much facial hair to grow to attract the average lady.  It should likewise tell us stubbly-challenged researchers how disadvantaged we are, thereby helping us gauge on what level of desperation we need to operate.

The results?  Not good for us baby-facers…  The difference between Baby-Face and the Short Stubble ‘Sully’ look (RE: Dr. Quinn) was marginal in most cases, with the exception that more facial hair tended to correlate with higher masculinity across the board.  Damn.  More hair also trended with better perceived parenting skills, which makes some sense if you assume facial hair also trends with physical and mental maturity (it doesn’t).

On the ‘Attractivness’ scale the models over all scored dismally low.  That’s what happens when you use yourself as a data point in your own project…  However, assuming that the general ugliness of the models didn’t skew the study, it seems that ‘Heavy Stubble’ Wolf-man was rated the most attractive.  So, the short stubble look that is so popular right now is off my at least 5 millimeters maybe 10, at least among the women studied (which may or may not have included the scientists’ Moms).

The bottom line?  I’m glad that my beautiful bride hates facial hair of any kind.  She’s an outlier, thank goodness.  Otherwise I’d have to invest in a lot of Rogaine for my face and spend a lot more in razors than my current thrice weekly shave currently requires.

Thanks ScienceNow for reaffirming our fears


Me and the Jedi Mind trick…


(Image Source)

I almost died.  Until about 20 minutes ago an 8 foot metal cased, pull down, projector screen hung in our office area between two desk stations.  The left side of the projector decided to free itself from its mooring and came crashing down directly beside me, upsetting my coffee cup and putting a sizable dent in the microwave and stack of papers next to me.

Nearly died may be an exaggeration, but had my head been a foot to the left I would certainly be at the emergency room right now, and yet I’m only just now starting to feel upset about it.  Just another example of my peculiar blessing/curse and what I really want to write about here.

Most scientists have social quirks, but most of those quirks make them less compatible with normal society.  I myself have a rather significant quirk Continue reading


Zebra Crossing/Atheists Beware – NatGeo


“Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bog-gglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
The argument goes something like this: `I refuse to prove that I exist,’ says God, `for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.’
`But,’ says Man, `The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don’t. QED.’
`Oh dear,’ says God, `I hadn’t thought of that,’ and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
`Oh, that was easy,’ says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.”

– Douglas Adams (FTW)


Because, Unicorns.

Adventures in Parenting, Family Blending, Loving, and Living.

Theo Taylor

Theo Taylor is a writer, fitness freak and college student who has been published by Thought Catalog, Asimov's and Aphelion. He writes star spanning science fiction and monster filled high fantasy. His debut novel ROGUE COSMOS will release in August, 2015. If he's not reading or writing, check the gym. He's almost always in the gym.

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